I just couldn't stop, really. It was one night, that the snow locked me up in my studio. I had wet down some large sheets of watercolor, and stretched them on my wall. I dipped into India Ink and let it drip. I was aware of my posture, like one is in their yoga practice or at their desk. I knew when I bent over with the brush, the composition went with it. I was so aware of what was happening with gravity, composition, posturing, and proportion, it took years to realize what it actually meant.
I did these grids for almost a full year, as my personal life reconfigured, and my professional life overshadowed my life's changes. I had a woman, both artist and mentor, flippantly say, as a critique, "Of course, the grids are about finding structure and stability. Isn't it obvious?"
No, it wasn't obvious. I was too close to it all.
How many handmade squares I made is unknown. Most of the pieces are off in a portfolio somewhere in my archives. The larger pieces are rolled up in my shed.
Much like that time in my life.
I needed to let go of this angst. It soon became more colorful. Vibrant. Analytical. Beautiful...
But this was an essential time in my life, to grow from numb reflection.