Ahh.... the grids...

I just couldn't stop, really. It was one night, that the snow locked me up in my studio. I had wet down some large sheets of watercolor, and stretched them on my wall. I dipped into India Ink and let it drip. I was aware of my posture, like one is in their yoga practice or at their desk. I knew when I bent over with the brush, the composition went with it. I was so aware of what was happening with gravity, composition, posturing, and proportion, it took years to realize what it actually meant.

I did these grids for almost a full year, as my personal life reconfigured, and my professional life overshadowed my life's changes. I had a woman, both artist and mentor, flippantly say, as a critique, "Of course, the grids are about finding structure and stability. Isn't it obvious?"

No, it wasn't obvious. I was too close to it all. 

How many handmade squares I made is unknown. Most of the pieces are off in a portfolio somewhere in my archives. The larger pieces are rolled up in my shed.

Much like that time in my life. 

I needed to let go of this angst. It soon became more colorful. Vibrant. Analytical. Beautiful...

But this was an essential time in my life, to grow from numb reflection.

Heidi JeubComment