Experience

Families and things not going as planned...

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A big grant was due yesterday at 4:30pm. 

I had 90% of it done, but just had to upload a video and some more images. So when my ex-husband called to ask if I could watch the boys during the school day, who were both sick, I said it shouldn't be a problem, because I could work from home.

Maybe there's more to Grumpy Bear than I thought... darned optimism. 

Maybe there's more to Grumpy Bear than I thought... darned optimism. 

I wouldn't trade taking care of my sons for the world, but when it's a grant (well written and very fundable) that would pay 1/2 my income next year, I should have finished it in the dining room while Carebears were on... instead of watching it, trying to remember which bear I had (Grumpy Bear, I do believe.) 

As any parent knows, the day can go 100 different directions without any clue of what will be done, or when. It was definitely the case yesterday. I was sideswiped at various points (different than sidetracked, where I get off course due to something inside me,  not something outside me.) But the grant was only needing an hour of my time and maybe some proofreading. So when I saw my video wasn't working well, I calmly tapped through the process, one step at a time, and got it done. Then those last images were uploaded and fine. 

But then I looked at the clock and realized that I had to pick up my daughter 30 minutes away, leaving me with 15 minutes, by the time I got home to finish uploading the grant information. No problem. I'm chill.

Until I get home, forgetting that my landlord is showing the house at 4:30. I open my laptop in my parking space and luckily can get on my network. I go to the website, check it over quick, and se.... my landlord comes up to my car to see what I'm doing...  asks about this... and that... and I finally admit that I have to get this thing submitted by 4:30, so he left me at it. 

2 minutes left... I'm fine. I pressed "submit." Red text pops up. My eyes go wild... what? Wha?! (insert favorite 4-letter words here....) (Keep in mind, kids are still in the car, uncertain why we can't go inside, so I'm explaining this and why I'm upset with my computer.) Where? Where did I screw up? 1 minute left...

Scrolling through each page of the grant, I see I forgot to mark them "complete," since I didn't truly understand that part, I GUESS!  My computer couldn't be going any slower... Then I press "Submit"... nope.  Something else was missing... probably a 20 second window to discover, fix and breathe. 

Found it! My name wasn't typed into some window... and I could' t figure out how to do it. "Edit"!! Okay... edit... yup... put in name (thank goodness it's short). Save. Good. Submit.

Nope. 4:31pm. The applications are now closed.

Grumpy Bear. Yup... that was the one I had. Raindrops and hearts flowing from the cloud on my chest... 

I called my friend, who works in the grant world, as well. She's one one I would have called and yelled at for having a stupid site, with stupid buttons, and stupid deadlines. So luckily I'm not one of those people! (don't be one of those people!)

Here's the deal. It took me days to carve out time to do a grant to pay for an artist in residency in greater Minnesota. Yet, when it is all said and done, even though I didn't press submit, I have a hunch... it will be okay. I just have to trust that I was not meant to press send.

I used to not like that I had Grumpy Bear... mostly because he wasn't happy, love ridden and pink. Plus I was a happy optimistic kid, pretty much all my life. But maybe I was meant to have Grumpy Bear, to remind me of that kid I was, and will be. I won't be grumpy for long... and last night... I wasn't. I just have to look past the clouds and see the raindrops as lovely.

Getting Sucked In

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It's hard not to get sucked in. 

Sucked into negativity. Facebook. House of Cards.

There are things that are contagious. They pull you further into a new space and you start to get lost, not know where it all began. 

I could say that it's negative, but I'm not going to go there. Because I think one could really look at the positive aspects of getting sucked in. 

I read Harold and the Purple Crayon, with my 4 year old last night, and it is such a joyful voyage of creativity... the boy gets lost as he creates a world with only his crayon. I get this. I've been there

And in my own practice, I've gotten sucked into the following:  

Piece In Process, by Heidi Jeub, 2014

Piece In Process, by Heidi Jeub, 2014

1. MY STUDIO

Of course this seems typical of the artist, but hard for me sometimes. The reality is that I work 3 types of jobs to make it all work, I'm going from one thing to another. But those rare moments, when I have a full weekend to just go to the studio early in the morning, and work throughout the day without having to go do this or that, are the best days ever. The music is one, the breeze is flowing, and all communications with the world is off (usually). 

Turbines in Iowa, January 2014

Turbines in Iowa, January 2014

2. THE ROAD

meaning... my head. I don't always have time to get lost in my head. Talking to myself. Stuff like that. But when I'm heading to a residency in greater Minnesota, school in Minneapolis, or my sisters' resort in Bemidji, that is my opportunity to get lost in my head. The only torturous thing about it, is that I can't document it. It's almost like a conversation between me, the landscape and the music I listen to. This winter, I was struggling with "too much too fast," needing time away. I purposely took a road trip to Missouri, where the drive through the frigid north, to a fairly "fall like" southern Missouri was a perfect way to clear the clutter. When asked why I went, I didn't have much of an answer (of course, I was seeing friends, but only to do homework when they were busy with work or family.) It was the drive that I needed more than anything. The idea to travel to see great things is not what I'm about at this time (I would expect that to get addicting!) I see great things. Even in Iowa.

Visual Journal, In Progress, 2014

Visual Journal, In Progress, 2014

3. RESEARCH 

Okay, now I'm back in school, where I study subjects of my choosing, with a wealth of resources at the university that is amazing! Now I get why we pay so much for education! But I get lost in the research, realizing that I have so much to learn! 

 

 

 

4. PEOPLE

I have fascinating people in my life. The conversations, the ideas, the sincerity, the laughter... are definitely worth getting lost in. Luckily, those in my life provide me with a positive outlook (most of the time) on the issues we face as artists, parents, and community.

Getting sucked into happiness isn't a bad thing, and I'm not saying I'm happy all the time. But I realized today, that when I saw my family laugh this weekend, or my son giggle at Harold and his crayon, I decided that if I'm going to get sucked in at all, I best be good stuff. 

 

Art & Selling Furniture

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Sales was a part of my life since college. I was looking for a job in Minneapolis in 1997, as a student at the University of Minnesota. As I walked through Uptown, now familiar, but then a new experience, I passed a storefront with a Le Corbusier lounge. The black leather leaned up against the long chrome body, that simply adjusts with the shift of an arch. While the chair was an imitation of the original, I looked in that window and knew I wanted to work there. I applied and got the job. 

That job probably changed my life. I was now in sales. I liked the furniture I was selling. I was fascinated with the shipping methods and manufacturing methods of the Danish furniture I was selling. I worked with some amazing people that I still admire today. 

I didn't really learn how to sell then, but rather I learned to appreciate design and a customer who appreciated design. And while we sold a lot of other things, like Mexican pine armoires, Umbra Lamps, Amisco beds, stools, and tables, it was the Danish desks that I loved selling, because they made sense.

Years later, I would get a job at another furniture store (after I graduated from college with my art degree), where we had virtually every type of furniture under the sun. The place was huge, but they trained us well to sell in an efficient manner: 

  1. Welcome the customer
  2. Gain Trust
  3. Needs Analysis
  4. Create a plan
  5. Sell to the plan

I learned very quickly that I should simply stay genuine in order to get past the first 2 steps of our selling methods, otherwise the rest of the sale would not be successful. It would either come back to haunt me or leave my customer unhappy with me all together, neither of which I considered a good time. I preferred to do it right and make sure everyone was happy, at least most of the time. It was a fine job, even if it had a strict system, but the only thing I wish I had was a decent collection of Danish office furniture, because I would have nailed 3-5 every time... 

But no worries... they have IKEA now.

My life has come full circle, in a sense, and I've started learning the methods of Design Thinking in my graduate program at the U. It is a well designed method of empathy, ideation, prototyping and implementation. The ways of getting to a desired end are simple and achievable. Genuine, because you don't get far without the empathy part. You have to get past the "welcome" and "gain trust" before doing anything else. 

I've always acknowledged my years in furniture sales as one of the biggest lessons in life, and I will never forget how much it contributed to my work ethic and philosophy today. Some of my most trusted collaborators... or conspirators ... come from those days on the floor.  No BS. No wasted time. You get to what you want; leave with what you want. Reading that, after I typed it, made me think it's somewhat cold. But really it is about respect in a busy world. 

And while I hope to spend my summer reading books at my own pace, gardening and preserving my family's harvest, playing and exploring with my children, I know I will also be working towards the creation of objects that the community will love: not because of what it is, but because of how it became to be. Public art, in this case, is about the welcome and trust, empathy and ideation, before it has anything to do with the final object. 

“Everything you can imagine is real.”
— Pablo Picasso

I look forward to the Verso / Paper Mill project in Sartell, simply for the exploration of the community's stories and energy.